What did we do last night that was yellow?
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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