I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
