Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
