need another drink. this is the easiest way
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
