Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
