No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Even my vagina gasped.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
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