Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
