so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
