Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
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