Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
