Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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