Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize