READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
