We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
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