Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize