well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
