She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
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