ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
