Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Randomize