I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
are you so shy because you have an std?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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