xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
he's gonorrhea incarnate
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
