those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
false alarm, still single
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
