Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
soo... how was my night?
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