Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize