Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I had to cum in my sink.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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