I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
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