Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Randomize
