my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
My bed smells like the plague
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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