i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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