We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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