Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
