I can tuck mytits in my pants
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
