Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
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