Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
