Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Randomize
