You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Randomize
