found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
