Me too!
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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