My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
