This girl is more easily done than said...
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Randomize