Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
