Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
