It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
