This girl is more easily done than said...
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
My liver just had a heart attack.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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