I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
She needs sedatives and a leash
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
