I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Randomize
