I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize