we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
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