Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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