I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
