Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
