the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Randomize
