New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
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