at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
