you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
