I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
