it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
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