My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
