Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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