We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
You're completely useless in the revolution.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
